Friday, December 6, 2013

Elf on the Shelf, love it or leave it?

I read a variety of blogs containing all types of subject matter. I read decorating blogs(props to you guys, such hard work), motherhood blogs, blogs from women in my age group, and writing blogs. I have different interests, like everyone, so I read a little of this and a little of that.

What has become completely fascinating to me and seems to be traveling across blog boundaries everywhere, is the infamous Elf on the Shelf controversy. I actually hesitate to capitalize his name, it seems to give him too much importance!

Elf on the Shelf must be a fairly new idea as I do not remember hearing or reading anything about it when my first kids were growing up. But it seems this tiny little elf has stirred up a hornet's nest of controversy for women everywhere.

Apparently, in some circles, you are not considered the "perfect mom" unless you spend whatever amount of time moving this tiny little toy all over your house in the dead of night and creating vast scenarios that make him appear alive.

Which would scare the h-e-double hockey sticks out of my autistic children, by the way.

In other circles, you are looked down upon if you chose to create an elf with behavior issues as it makes the rest of the hardworking already multi tasking mothers look "lazy."

The mommy blogs are chock full of posts with varying opinions on the subject and I have been very surprised to find the infamous and very controversial stuffed elf crossing into decorating blogs, also.

I am not normally an outspoken person, don't really see the point, who really cares about one person's opinion in the grand scheme of life, but I have to just throw in an older mom's two cents.

I have six children, three grandchildren, I have fostered, I have babysat. A large part of my adult life, in fact, all of my adult life, has involved caring for or raising children. I can tell all of you young mothers with complete and one hundred percent certainty, that elf on the shelf is NEVER, and I do mean NEVER, going to change the type of mother you are and how your children are going to turn out.

There are so many reasons we as women struggle with confidence issues, low self esteem, and high stress levels. And things like Elf on the Shelf, a cute stuffed toy with airs of grandeur are just the type of unimportant ridiculous stressors that put us there.

Let it go, moms!! You are so important to your children and this is so not. If there are moms who chose to make this a tradition, then let them, who cares? And for the ones who don't chose to, who cares? This is not a life defining choice.

You are all wonderful moms and work so hard in all you do for your children and your homes and that is all that matters.

Life is hard enough and we, as women, unfortunately, are hard enough on each other.

There are enough legitimate bandwagons to jump on. Segregation (not just race), discrimination, child abuse, hunger. These are life changing. And they matter.

Just my two cents. I'll be quiet now.


  1. This was fun to read as I can give my unbiased opinion that is based on just TWO elf experiences :)

    1) growing up I recall a few elves that my mom had as decor ( I was born 1957 ) and so I get a kick out of seeing vintage elves here and there that were like those

    2) I have a family / friends FB acct. Last year, one of my son's friends started to show Wink and Trixie Elves, and what she did with them each day of December for her two little kids. I had a blast seeing that, and she's started posting about it again this year. She is not a blogger...this is just something that she shows on her personal account each day. And that is the extent of my experience with it all, lol! :) POINT IS..I have enjoyed it because it is my only experience with it....were I to view this constantly I would be bored out of my mind. I think you and I are the same in that we need a variety

    1. You know, at first I didn't think anything of it either. Some of the blogs I read are at Blogher and some at Some of these women are on a mission about this. It seems to bring out some intense feelings and I just found it so sad. We have so many real things to think about. It's just a stuffed toy!!!

  2. Your points are so well made! I had no idea anyone was having any more than just fun with these toys. Life is too short for all the fuss. I like poking around all manner of blogs too. Fascinating what's out there! Thanks so much for your cheery visits to me!

    1. Thank you for stopping, Jacqueline! Yep, life is way too short to dwell on the unimportant.

  3. I couldn't agree more! I have a 20 yr old son in the military and a 12 yr old in middle school. They are very different from each other too. I have never owned an Elf on the Shelf, but if I did, it would've just been a fun game. I didn't realize that some moms put so much importance on it. I've never known any that did. I don't have small children anymore so maybe this is a new thing.

    1. It must be new as I didn't know anything about it, either. I just think we have enough to worry about!

      Thank you for visiting, Kelly!